The Mormon Pogo-stick(Hoenn Soldier Parody)
by JoeJoeTheBro
Summary: A summary of the Hoenn soldier, I guess...Read the Hoenn soldier first if you have not already.


It was a day like no other, the day that I could get laid without even trying, hey I have an idea, let's join a WAR! To this day those words give me horrible pants feelings, I dont think my big boy panties can take much MOAR! But if they could then some unborn child will probably die in his mumz tum-tum, that child was me! Ragna RollyPolly! As I said that I hit by a straight rocket, it was straight and not gay so i could still get laid. Then in the dickstance I saw Vilunch and a squiggly sqadilly snakey snake, all was lost but then I found weporn on the ground and shot and killed it and we were at peace, then I saw a dead zangoose and said "I will raise you as if you were my own." Then I blew up.

But turns out that i didnt blow up and I was in a bed and then Nurse happy happy joy joy was all like "Heyyy Babe" And then i saw a mechanical dildo were my hand was and I wuz all like "FUCK YOU!" Then i turned into a furry and sparta kicked her out the window and her skirt was showing inside out and she was a dude, then I saw a note and it said "Had fun last night baby?" Then I remembered and it was awful, then I forgot ab00t it but then fucking sceptile came out of my balls and reminded me then I jumped out the window and died, but then I realised I didnt die and found a credit card and it said Axey-pooh on it and then I put it down a storm drain so Our lord and savior, Lord Giratina king of all shit could eat it, but then a metal birdey was all like "It's a trap!" Then it crashed into an old lady, and then 2 guys and 1 cup jumped off, but it wasn't 2 guys, it was 1 guy and 1 asexual Sargent Slaughter. Then one of them was all like, "Hrrrrrr, gimmie ma mapz!" and I was all like "Thank you come again!" Then Axey-pooh sezz "This is ma inbred bro and Mom, it's name iz Asperma!" And then it look at us and let out an ear bleeding shriek while flailing it's tentacles "THUUUUUUG LIIIIIFFEE!", then they flopped to their skarmory and it blew up and flew away.

Then all of a sudden this lil bitch cum's on me and takes my money, the Officer Genwunner comes out of nowhere and flashes me, and she is a dude also, then she stuns me out cold with a taser and I died. But then I didnt die and I was in an alley and I saw a post-it-note on my chest and it said "Enjoy last night babee." And I was all like "FUUUUUUUUU-" Then I walked into Lumiose cafe and saw Axey-pooh along side Asperma and this one girl, probably from the age of 1-50 not including 15. Then I step in and Asperma is standing there saying "YO SUN O BITCH, WHERE MA MUNNAY AT, YOLO SWAG!", Then Axey-pooh is all like, "Yeah this fag is called Macaroon, or something..." Then I wave and she says "Hello, I am Macaroon and I will murder you in your sleep, Hello." Then Axey-pooh is all like "RollyPolly! Do a D.N.A scan so I can tell if im a mutant or not and then let's not even reference it threw the entire story!" Then I do it and Im all like "YEEEERSH" While saliva comes spewing out of my teeth. Then he is says "Oh, im a mutant, thats pretty coo-" Then Asperma says "YO, DAT FOOL IZ CRAZY! GET DA PILLZ!11!1" Then Macaroon gets a canister and says "Hello, the pills are right here, Hello." Then he takes out all of the pills and throws it Axey-pooh, then takes the empty canister and shoves it down Axey-pooh's throat. Then his plesh and sweater peels off and a very casual Axey-pooh comes out, "Woah! How did I get here?" Then he looks around to see all the random ass shit going on inside and out-side, and says "Crap. Asura probably gave me Moon's pills againg, hmmm Moon...That cocksucking traitor..." Then I said "EWWWW! HE'S SO WEIRD! CHANGE HIM BRAKK!" Then Macaroon took out the antidote but then a giant fucking Noivern came out of nowhere and batted the new and totally weird ass "Axel" with his tail and he fucking fell over on the ground and he said "Oh boy...Im sure glad the worst of that ordeal is over, no I can go home to my 3 wives and 7 children that I sold on the street..."Then Macaroon said "Hello, im going to catch you, Hello." But then a pink ball that definitely was NOT a miltank hit it and it fell, but then it turned out that I was lying and it actually WAS a miltank and then Whitney Houston came out of nowhere and started singing the Sailor Moon theme, then Asperma grabbed Moon's balls and tried to catch a Whitney Houston, but he was facing the noivern and he didnt know that he was, then he caught a noivern, and he was all like "GOD FUCKING DAMMIT! EVERY TIME!" Then the so called "Axel" started to melt and turn into Axey-pooh, and I said "YAY! YOUR BACK, SOME WEIRD ASS PUNK NAMED AXEL POSSESSED YOU NOW YOUR BACK!" Then he looked at me and then looked at his untied shoes, butttttttt theeeeeeennnnn whitney houston transformed into just regular whitney and she took out a knife and shanked me and threw me over a cliff and then I DIED, the Macaroon was all like "Hello, super fighting robot! MEGAMAN! Hello." Then she turned into a robot and blew up whit whit with a beam and exploded, then I came out of the cliff and said " Hey guys! Im actually okayyy." Then Axey-pooh comes towards the cliff and says "PLOT CONVENIENCE!" Then he kicked me into a puddle and then I died! And then Axey-pooh and friends flew away. 2 BEE CONTINUEDZ?

* * *

BONUS SCENE

AXELS ARCTIC ADVENTURE

(Axel and friends are in the arctic,no shit, looking for an artifaggot that I cant teel you about...FAGGOT)

Axel: Okay guys, it should be around here somewhere

Moon: Axel...I..I think we are lost...

Axel:SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH CLIT-LIPS! IF I DIDNT KNOW WHERE WE WERE GOING, WE WOULDNT HAVE GONE IN THE FIRST PLACE!

Asura: He's right ya know...

Moon: Well..I dont think having the light reflect off your ass was a good sense of directio-

Axel: DOES THIS ASS! LOOK LIKE THE ASS THAT LIES!?

Asura: YEA ALL THE THINGS I WOULD do to you...

Moon: AHH! IT'S A GIANT DILDO!

Axel: OH SHI-!

*Dildo comes out and repetitively shoves the gang into the ice*

1000 YEARS LATER

Ragna: OH LOOK BLADE! SOME LIL PEOPLE NEED OUR HELP RIGHT THERE! *points at Axels frozen leg*

Blade: SCEPTILE! (Let's let them die like your dumbass bitch wife that I fucked and killed...)

Ragna: Oh come, on help me dig em out

*it's a transition*

Blade: SCEPTILE! (They look frozen...like your wife's face after I penetrated her)

* * *

Hope you guys enjoyed, I would like to thank Lord Garry's Tuna, Lord scorporn, and TheUltimateLifeFormontheMoon from TeamGhostBusters, I am OhNoestheYellowSnow, and as always, Eat babies, not Food


End file.
